


Shelter as the Storm

by taintednephilim



Series: SongFics [2]
Category: jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Please Don't Kill Me, Sad, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Songfic, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Trigger Warnings, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-08 14:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6859177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taintednephilim/pseuds/taintednephilim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Mark have been dating for almost three years and have been through hell and back with each other. But after a nasty argument, the two know that it can’t last anymore. But who would have ever thought that the events that occurred would be as painful as they are for the separated couple?<br/>//Song: Sleep Well, My Angel by We Are The Fallen\\</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“JACK!! YOU’RE BEING AN UNREASONABLE ASS!” Mark yelled down the hall at his now angered boyfriend. Jack and Mark had gotten into an argument again, as usual, over something stupid. The lamp that they had just bought was broken on the living room floor of the small flat. Not even two seconds later, Mark was pacing back and forth in the kitchen, as Jack blew off steam in the shared bedroom. As this went on, Mark was contemplating what to do. Jack’s anger and anxiety were getting the best of him. _I love him so much but I don’t think I can take much more of this._ Mark thought to himself. He was holding back tears, thinking of the things Jack had said to him earlier that day.

“ _You’re worthless. You do nothing but start a pity party for yourself all the damn time, Mark. I didn’t realize I was dating such a baby.”_

                Mark suddenly broke down into tears, silent sobs racking his chest. He knew what his heart wanted and his head was telling him were two completely different things. It hurt so badly, knowing what he would have to do.

                Later that evening when everything had cooled down, Jack and Mark were in each other’s arms, cuddling on the couch, watching Dr. Who. Mark heard the soft snores of his ex-lover and smiled sadly, knowing that this would be the last time he would probably be in the same room or even see him. Picking up the younger man, Mark walked to their bedroom, laying him gently on the bed. He grabbed Jack’s phone, deleted his contact from the small device and typed in a short message before locking the phone back up. The elder brunette then grabbed one of his backpacks and about a week and a half’s worth of clothing, his phone, a jacket and some hair stuff. After he did all that, he walked over to his now ex-lover, and gave him one last gentle kiss on his forehead, holding back tears.

 

**-x-**

****

**_Watching you sleep for so long, knowing I can't turn the rain into sun any more_ **

**-x-**

As Mark took one last look around the flat, he let out a deep sigh, the tears streaming down his face. He turned towards the door, and walked out, making sure to lock the door behind him.

**-x-**

**_I've given you all that I have, now I stand here, too scared to hold your hand. Afraid you might wake to see the monster that had to leave._ **

****

**-x-**

Hoping that he wouldn’t break down too badly, he pulled out his cellphone and called up the first person he could think of, knowing that the likelihood of Felix picking up his phone were small seeing that it was, 2:15 in the morning.

                “H-Hello?” A scratchy, very sleepy voice had answered the phone.

                “Hey Pewds. You know that extra house that you had?” Mark said, his voice cracking slightly. _I hope he’s too tired to notice that I was crying,_ Mark thought to himself as he waited for his friend’s response.

                “Um...yeah? First off, who is this and why are you worried about my extra house?” Felix sounded slightly aggravated.

                “It’s Mark—”

                “Oh shit, I’m sorry man. Why the fuck aren’t you at your place with Jackaboy?” Felix cut off Mark halfway through the sentence.

“Don’t worry about that, but the house? Can I use it for a bit?” Mark held in a sob, his voice shaking. Felix hummed in agreement, and with that, Mark thanked him and hung up.

               

**-x-**

**_'Cause you see the shelter as the storm, holding wind to keep you warm, you are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,_ **

**-x-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys sooooooo much for the Kudos. 10 Kudos in the first day, holy shit, that is the most I’ve ever gotten within the first day of a story of mine being up. So the story will continue and unfortunately, it’s going to get sadder. I am so sorry. I know you guys are probably going to hate me by the end of the chapter, but I promise you, I will try to post another happier songfic soon. I’ve found a really happy, upbeat and overall awesome song for the fic. But I won’t spoil the song for you guys. And once again THANK YOU ALL SOOO FUCKING MUCH –throws confetti and cake at everyone- you guys are awesome. 
> 
> Guys, there is a huge trigger in this chapter. So if you get triggered easily, let me know and I will sum it up as not triggering as possible.

Jack woke up extremely early the next morning, feeling the cold emptiness in the bed that he and Mark shared.

                “Merk?” His voice called out, laced with exhaustion, but he didn’t know that Mark had left early that morning. He sat up when he got no response. “Merk? Where are ye?” Still no response. The Irish man slowly started to panic. He went to look for his phone and saw that it was still on the dresser next to the bed. Picking it up and unlocking it, Jack was about to call Mark when he noticed something. It was the note that Mark had left him earlier, right before he left.

 

;-;-;

**Jack,**

**Listen, no matter what happens after this, I want you to know that you will always be the love of my life. But I’ve noticed that you haven’t been feeling the same about me lately. And I’m so fucking sorry for anything I did wrong. I hope you find someone better for you. Someone who won’t disappoint you.**

**_So sleep well, my angel._ **

**Love, Mark**

;-;-;

As Jack read this sobs shook his body. He closed the note, and went to the phone, looking for Mark’s number. Unfortunately, Jack was never really able to memorize Mark’s phone number because it’s always been in his phone as ‘Marki.’ When jack looked up the contact and saw nothing, he lost it. His phone went shattering against the wall, he tore his dresser apart, and clothes were strewn all over the room. Finally, after Jack finished his rampage, he had his back against the closet. He slid down, the door scratching his back but at that point, Jack didn’t care. He hid his face between his knees, sobbing, and thinking. _What did I do so wrong? Why did Mark leave me?_ And so many other questions ran through his head. He heard his doorbell ring, but he didn’t get up right away. The noise startled him as his doorbell rang several more times.

                “JACK! OPEN UP IN THERE!!” He heard the familiar voice of his cousin, Angie, and knew he had no choice but to get up. He stood slowly and looked at himself in the mirror. He attempted to make himself look like he wasn’t just crying but had no success. Again the doorbell rung, and Jack groaned loudly.

                “GOD DAMMIT ANGIE!! I’M COMING, CALM YOUR TITS!!!” He yelled down the steps as he made his way downstairs. When he reached the landing, Jack sighed and opened up the door for his older cousin.

                “Jackaboy! How is my younger cousin and his boyfriend doing?” The blonde Irish girl hugged her cousin, beaming happily.

                “Yeah, um, about thaaat…” Jack hesitated. Angie looked at him, her eyes narrowed, looking like a lion ready to pounce her prey.

                “SEAN MCLOUGHLIN!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Angie raised her voice, her anger rising. _Nothing that I intended on happening._ Jack thought to himself as he replied, “We got into an argument and I think he broke up with me.” He winced as he finished. _Just like the rest of them, Sean. You don’t know how to do anything right do you?_ His eyes teared up as he listened to his cousin rant, before she left, slamming the door behind her. _Great, just about everyone is gone, right? First the ‘rents, then your sister, Mark and now Ange. Just great._ Jack punched the wall, crying out in pain.

                “Motherfucker. You know what, I need beer.” He mumbled to himself, walking into his kitchen. Jack looked around, not even bothering to turn on the light as he walked over to the fridge. Mark usually never kept beer in the house because he knew that jack would get stupid with it. But the couple recently had a party that they had gotten too much of the brown, bitter liquid for, and there was plenty leftover. When the Irishman opened the fridge, he grabbed the first six pack he saw. He opened up the first bottle and downed it without a second thought. The same thing happened with the third, fourth and fifth bottle. By the time he was done, he felt a small bit better but not enough to mask what he knew was his reality. He grabbed his phone, opened up twitter and put up his last tweet.

‘ _I’m sorry to anyone I’ve ever let down.’_ And he sighed, because he knew what he was going to do was stupid, but he didn’t think it would hurt many people. Next thing jack new, his notifications were going crazy. _Probably my fans asking what’s wrong. It doesn’t matter though._ Jack thought selfishly. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed another six pack before walking back into the disheveled bedroom. Walking over to the dresser, he opened the drawer, his medicine bottles rolling around. He grabbed four of them, slammed the drawer and walked over to the bed, his heart racing and his head spinning. Jack only ever thought about killing himself once before, but never actually went through with it because of Mark. Mark was his saving grace. Mark was his angel, but now he was gone. Jack had pushed him away, and now Jack had no saving grace. No one to hold and comfort him through his hardships. And he was going to go through with his plan, his note was already written and his will to live weakened. He put the letter, addressed to ‘ _whoever finds it first,’_ on his nightstand, and opened a pill bottle, another beer and took a deep breath. He poured a handful of pills into his hand, and swallowed them down with the beer. He repeated this with the other three bottles of pills before he finished the final bottle of beer in the six-pack and lay down, closing his eyes. He knew that this was his fate and there was no way out of it. No way to reverse what he had done.

                “I’m so sorry everyone.” He whispered to no one in particular, before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY HEART HURTS AFTER WRITING THIS –sobbing- guys I am so sorry, and by the way, please be safe. If you guys need to talk, I’m here. Just inbox me and I will help you as best as I can, because as someone who has suffered from depression, anxiety and other things, I know how hard it can be to keep yourself going every day. But I just want to let you all know, please, please, pleeeaaasse be safe. And even though I don’t know you guys personally, I love all of you for sticking with me for this story.  
> Oh and FYI, I literally had to hide in the bathroom after I wrote this to keep my sister from seeing me sobbing.


	3. Chapter 3

Mark had a very fitful night of sleep, but slept none-the-less. When he woke up in the morning, his eyes were heavy and he was aching. But he knew he had to get up and get himself back home, to talk and apologize to Jack. They needed to find a way to fix their broken and fractured relationship.

**-x-**

**Under the ash and the lies**

**-x-**

As the young half-Korean grabbed his bag, he sighed, and texted Felix, thanking him for letting him use the house. Felix responded back quickly, and Mark smiled. He then looked at his notifications. A crapload from everyone asking why he didn’t upload yesterday, some checking up on him, but the last one was one that he did not like. At all.

                **_jacksepticeye tweeted: I’m sorry to anyone I’ve ever let down._**

“Oh, crap I should call him.” Mark muttered to himself, scared. He called Jack, and he got the voicemail. _That’s weird, Jack always answers his phone._ Mark thought, his heart pounding as he called again with no further success. The young man then quickened his steps, afraid that the Irish man did something stupid. He locked the house quickly, leaving the keys under the door mat, where he found them. He ran to his car, not even bothering to take off his bag, and started it, driving quickly. When he got back to the flat, Mark knocked on the door.

“JACK?!” He called out, his voice shaking. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ Mark thought when he had gotten no answer. He dug out his keys, fumbling a bit more than what he appreciated, and finally got the key in the knob and opened the door.

“JACKABOY?! ARE YOU UP THERE?!” Mark called out again, his voice cracking at the state of the apartment. He dashed up the stairs and opened up the bedroom door, gasping when he saw the empty bottles and boxes from the beer, the empty pill bottles and finally, his lover, laying on the bed, curled up in a fetal position, pale and unmoving.

**-x-**

**Something beautiful once here now dies.**

**-x-**

                “J-Jack?” Mark whimpered softly as he walked, well more like stumbled, over to Jack, his eyes glazed over with tears and his heart hoping and praying that Jack was not dead. When he finally got over to the bed, he was disappointed and heartbroken. Jack was gone. There was no way of helping him now, and mark felt awful about it. Mark knew that part of this was his fault, but what part, he wasn’t sure. He finally let out the scream that was pent up in his throat for who knows how long, then he started crying, hugging Jack’s lifeless shell in his arms. When he finally stopped crying, after what felt like hours, mark sat up, weak from the events of the day.

**-x-**

**And the tears burn my eyes**

**-x-**

                That’s when mark saw it. The note that Jack had wrote.

:-:-:-:

**_To whoever finds me first?_ **

**_And I hope to whoever is up there that it’s not Mark. But if it is, I have one thing to say. I am so, so sorry. But anyway, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m dead. I couldn’t do it anymore, and everything has just gotten to be too much. I’ve failed everyone I love, everyone who at one point probably did love me, and everyone I still love. I hate the fact that I couldn’t be more to everyone and even after a while, the fans started fade. I noticed it but didn’t say anything, and I don’t think I could have even if I tried…And now, here I am, gone. Maybe everything will be better this way, maybe no one will get hurt._ **

**_Mark, whatever I’ve done to you, I’m so fucking sorry for any bad thing I’ve said to you, about you or if I’ve ever put my hands on you to harm you in any way. I hope you can, somewhere in that huge heart you have, somehow forgive me for those things and for this. I love you so much, and no matter what, you will always be my MarkiBear._ **

****

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Jack_ **

:-:-:-:

                “No. Jack please no. Please let this all be a dream, please fucking wake up Jacky.” Mark sobbed, looking back at the corpse. He knew that it was no use and in his heart he felt even more like it was his fault.

**-x-**

**As you sit there all alone,**

**Please just come back home**

**-x-**

                Mark didn’t think he could do it. He couldn’t keep going with Jack. Even though, yes they did fight, he still loved Jack and he knew that Jack had still loved him. He didn’t want to keep living, he didn’t want to keep going without his Jack. But he knew before he left, he had one last thing to do.

**-x-**

                “Hello everybody. Mark here, and unfortunately, this will be my last video. As I’m sure you all figured out a long time ago, Jack and I are, well were dating. But, two nights ago, Jack and I got into an argument that went way sour. I-I walked out, and Jack stayed here. I had only been gone for two days but, b-by the time…” Mark got choked up in the middle of the sentence. He took a deep breath before starting again. “By the time I got home, it was too late for me to do anything. Jack was gone, and I feel like it’s all my fault. Now I know that most of you are probably his fans as well, and follow him on whatever social media you guys have, so I’m sure most of you saw his tweet last night. I am apologizing for him, seeing as he can’t do it himself. And I am also apologizing for myself. I will not be making anymore videos after this one. And I just want you all to know, I love you all and I thank you all so much for all of the good times that we had together. So here it is, Markiplier signing off. Buh-Bye.” Mark shut down his camera, wiping his eyes and getting ready to upload the video.

                He sighed and paced through the flat, waiting for the video to upload. When he heard the ding from his computer, he sighed and finished doing what he had to do for his video before clicking done. His notifications dinged, and he clicked on the bell. _‘My Last Video’ upload complete._

Mark sighed and nodded before closing out his browser and closing down his computer. He walked back into the bedroom, with a knife in his hand, and plopped on the bed next to Jack. He kissed the Irishman on the forehead and whispered, “Sleep well, my angel.” Then Mark put the knife point against his stomach before taking a deep breath and pushing it in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘tis finally done. Thank you so much for those of you who dealt with my depressing ass. I hate the fact that I am quite possibly ruining everybody’s lives with my stories. PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I LOVE YOU ALL AND I PROMISE THE NEXT SONGFIC WILL NOT BE DEPRESSING!!!!! I will also (HOPEFULLY [I’M NOT MAKING ANY PROMISES]) be posting the next chapter of Darkness soon. I have been having a huge issue with continuing it, due to lack of inspiration and ideas of how to keep going. ;-; But once again, thank you to those of you who stuck with me to the end of this story. And like I said in the previous chapter, please be safe and if you guys ever need to talk, let me know, inbox me or whatever. And STAY AWESOME ^_^


End file.
